In the month of February, all of the shelves at Target are full of Valentine’s Day decor and gifts, and many couples find themselves searching for ways to reignite the spark in their relationship. For those navigating the beautiful chaos of parenthood, the idea of a romantic evening may seem like a distant dream. However, in the spirit of V-Day, consider taking a new approach to your marriage by dating your spouse. 

Here are four realistic steps to getting back onto the path of love:

1. Make Time

Making time for your partner is the first step, but it’s also the hardest and most important. Having alone time (without the kids) is essential. One day a week or every other week, have the kids stay with the Grandparents or find a fun “Kids-Only” activity at the rec center or library. If you continue to have scheduling conflicts, plan ahead and put it on the calendar. Making time for your spouse takes discipline and planning. 

2. Dates Don’t Have to Be Extravagant

Dates are supposed to be fun, so don’t stress yourself out beforehand trying to plan the perfect outing. Ordering in and watching a movie (one that’s not appropriate for the youngsters) can be an excellent way to unwind and relax together. If you’re struggling to make time for one another, have an errand date. Stop by the food court for a “sit-down” dinner if you end up at Costco. 

If you want something more thoughtful, arrange a nostalgic night by recreating your first date. 

3. Dress to Impress

It can be easy to get into the routine of work clothes and PJs. There’s nothing wrong with this, but if you plan on going out, dress up for the occasion. For women, pull out that red dress in the closet and wear those sparkly heels. For men, wear a long-sleeve button-down and a dark pair of slacks.

4. The Little Things Count

At the beginning of a relationship, there is usually a “Honeymoon Stage,” where you can’t get enough of your significant other. You’re always calling and texting them, and the words I love you can not be said enough. Yet, as time passes and life gets busier and busier, these little things don’t happen as often. Texting your spouse, I love you while they’re at work or surprising them with their favorite flowers are the little things that count.