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Girls getting ready for school dance
Illustration Courtesy Lauren Rebbeck

What to Do When Your Child Doesn’t Get Asked to the Dance

Psychologist Erin Pier shares advice for parents.

The Problem:

My 14-year-old daughter wasn’t invited to the school dance. As you can guess, she is very disappointed. How can I help her through it?

The Expert:

Erin Pier, school psychologist, Academy of Urban Learning

The Solution:

Not being asked to a dance can feel like the ultimate rejection, especially during adolescence, a time when self-worth is so heavily dependent on peer acceptance. The disappointment your child feels is very real, so it’s important not to trivialize her experience. Instead, acknowledge where she’s coming from and keep the following suggestions in mind:

The disappointment experienced when left uninvited to a big event can feel profound, but it’s far from the last time she’ll encounter this feeling in her life. Help her rebound from this event, and view it as an opportunity for developing coping strategies that will benefit her when future disappointments fall her way.

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