Keeping your marriage afloat while you juggle kids, work, family obligations, and more can be quite the feat for you and your S.O. When you’re both stressed out and sacrificing sleep (and sanity) in favor of sneaking your emergency stash of snacks out of their hiding spot well after midnight, it’s time to consider going on a vacation. No, no, a vacation without the little ones.

Think of the Benefits

Let’s be real here. When you bring the entire family on vacation, you pile the car high with the kids’ luggage, their pillows, their blankets, and a mountain of toys they “just can’t bear to leave behind” for the trip. When it’s just the two of you, it’s smooth sailing. You have room for your pillows, blankets, favorite travel snacks, and maybe even an ice chest without having to slim down your luggage to make it all fit.

Another benefit to taking a vacation together is being able to have your own privacy and space. Can you remember the last time you had space to sleep comfortably not squished up between kids, pets, or your partner? If you score a hotel room with two queen beds, what’s stopping you two from having your own bed to starfish in?

Beyond having your own space and privacy, without having to worry about children means you can sleep in, miss the continental breakfast entirely, and splurge on your favorite breakfast, brunch, or lunch option instead. You will have plenty of time to create an itinerary as lax or packed as you would like, including activities that you would otherwise be unable to do with the kids tagging along.

It’s Okay to Want a Break

Now that you’re dreaming of having some time away, you might be feeling a bit guilty about it. You love your kids, and you’re probably thinking about how cruel it would be to take a vacation without them, but trust me when I say they’ll be alright and you will be, too. 

It’s perfectly normal to be fed up with your day-to-day life, and that includes being tired of having to corral your children, manage meal times, and get everyone to wherever they need to be each day. Understand that taking a vacation with your partner is a needed part of keeping your cool as a parent. Being high-strung, stressed, and overworked will run you down, and you won’t be able to be the parent you want to be and your children need you to be. 

Follow the 2-2-2 Rule

This relationship-saving rule first appeared in a thread on a Reddit forum in 2015 where a user claimed that planning a date night every two weeks, a weekend away from home every two months, and a week away every two years was the perfect way to reconnect with their partner while having time to relax. 

Recently, this rule has made a comeback on social media as a proposed “key to a happy marriage” with couples mentioning having set nights and plans to date their spouse reignited their marriage and helped them check in with each other before more serious problems could arise. Luckily, date nights and weekends away don’t have to be complicated, and many successful plans can be accomplished fairly close to home without breaking the budget.

There’s Research To Back It Up

If you’re still not convinced, take it from the U.S. Travel Association, which conducted a 2015 study of both married and unmarried couples and how they feel traveling together helped their relationships and their individual health. 

Two-thirds or 67 percent of respondents believed that at least one key aspect of their relationship improved after their getaway, and 68 percent believed that leisure travel is “a necessary component of maintaining a healthy relationship.”

The survey found a sizable amount of supporting data that showed taking the time to travel on either a short weekend trip or a long-term vacation helped rekindle long-term relationships because it gave these couples time together to reconnect, be intimate, and re-explore romance.

Overall, they found that couples agreed these trips helped them build or rebuild, maintain, and improve their relationships with the survey finding “a positive correlation between high relationship satisfaction and using travel to improve romance: 65 percent of those who are very satisfied with their relationships believe that a vacation or weekend getaway is an important way to spark romance.”

All-in-all, setting aside the time to have a vacation might be just what you and your spouse need, and no matter where you go, you’re bound to have a good time in each other’s company. So, plan your stay, pack your bags, and hit the road. You deserve it!